Doubtbusters for kids

frustrated girl

I can’t

I’m a loser

Everyone else does it better

I’m afraid I might fail

I’m afraid I might succeed

Do you know a kid who is riddled with doubt?  Do you find that no matter how much you praise him, he still lacks self-confidence?  Is it frustrating to see her not living up to her potential because of doubts and fears?

Certainly we all have a lack of confidence and courage at times.  But when we know someone who is chronically plagued with doubt, it is often distressing to see their self esteem plummet and their self concept weaken.  What can you do to be the doubt-buster that they need in their life?

Three ways to increase kids’ self-confidence

Focus on action, not feelings–Teach kids that many times our feelings trick us into believing things that just aren’t true.  Just because we feel nervous about trying something challenging is not a sign that we should avoid it.  In fact many times feeling nervous is a good thing because it is an indication that we are stepping outside our comfort zone and taking on a challenge.

Focus on positive self talk, not negative self talk— Our brains are like Velcro for negativity and Teflon for the positive so its important that we learn ways to take charge of our thinking.  One way to do this is to teach kids to pay attention to the messages that they are telling themselves, to evaluate those messages and change it to a more realistic and positive one if necessary.

Focus on measuring personal progress, not comparison to others–The comparison trap will always lead to doubt and criticism.  We can always find someone who is better than we are.  By the same token we can always find someone who is weaker as well.  Neither is beneficial for shoring up self esteem.  Instead, teach kids to measure personal progress based on goals and personal accomplishment.

Related posts:

Developing self-esteem in kids

How to raise a resilient child

Kids and anxiety

Wyatt the Wonder Dog Learns about Winning

Wyatt the Wonder Dog didn’t make it on the All Star baseball team and he feels like a loser.  All  his friends will be playing baseball this summer, while he and his pesky sister, Callie, visit grandparents at the beach.  How Wyatt learns to handle disappointment and failure will be an important lesson for the future.  Will he give up trying new things?  Will he have the confidence to try again?  Are there some things that take more practice and persistence to learn than others?  Wyatt the Wonder Dog Learns About Winning
Wyatt the Wonder Dog Learns about Winning (Wyatt the Wonder Dog Books) (Volume 5)

Self-esteem Group Curriculum for School Counselors





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