Category Archives: personality style

The power of ‘not yet’ in changing behavior

As I visit schools and provide training in DISC personality style to staff and parents, I’m often asked, “Can you change your basic personality style or is it just hard-wired in?”  The exciting news in all areas of human development is that we can change and grow in many ways. Personality style is no different.  We can change our perception.  We can change our behavior.  We can change our personality style.

However, it’s not always necessary to change our personality so much as it is to recognize and work in our strengths. Every personality style has strengths and areas of concern.

A high D personality style can be decisive and determined.  Or they can be bossy and domineering.

A high I personality style can be interactive and inspiring.  Or they can be impulsive and self-centered.

A high S personality style can be supportive and encouraging.  Or they can be passive and too compliant.

A high C  personality style can be conscientious and competent.  Or they can be paralyzed by details and insensitive.

I think you get the picture.  We all have the potential to maximize our strengths and be both a great leader and a great team-player but doing so means recognizing our areas of potential weakness and overcoming them.  There is always room to grow and change for the better.

Although much of Carol Dweck’s work on the growth mindset is around the area of improving academics, it is also relevant to improving behavior. Just as we can teach kids that their behavior is “not yet” optimal, we can also teach that there is always another chance  for change.  Just as kids can be taught that they can learn and grow academically, they can also be taught that they can learn and grow behaviorally.  Their daily behavior strengthens neural patterns making change and improvement easier and easier to repeat.

This is exciting news because we can help kids understand their potential for success. We can help kids learn to not only accept challenges but look forward to them because they mean growth.  We can help them understand that their behavior now is not yet optimal but that there is opportunity for improvement starting right now.  Notice as well that we aren’t passing out rewards, stickers, candy and toys to improve behavior.  Instead we are focusing on the intrinsic reward of growth and goal achievement. We are creating a positive vision for the future.  Most importantly we are preparing kids for the endless possibilities ahead.

Listen to Carol Dweck talk about the power of “not yet” over the tyranny of “now”.

 

Related posts:

How to create a better behavior plan

How do you change a child’s behavior?

How effective is your school’s ISS?

Parenting with Heart: Understanding your Child’s Personality Style

Do you sometimes feel that your children are speaking a different language?  Do you wonder how to motivate and inspire them?  In this eBook you will D-I-S-Cover your own personality style and how to speak the language of other personality styles to create a winning  environment in all the seasons of your family’s life.

parentingheart

Click on the link below to purchase the ebook:

Parenting with Heart: Understanding Personality Style

 

 Wyatt Goes to Kindergarten

Wyatt has never liked change, at least not at first.  Once he tries something new, he usually finds he really likes it.  Now that he is about to begin kindergarten, Wyatt is really worried.  Will he make friends?  Will he get lost in the new school?  Will he miss his mom?  Join Wyatt in his latest “wonder-full” adventure!Wyatt-kKindergarten_thumb
Wyatt the Wonder Dog: Goes to Kindergarten

 

DISCover Your Personality Style

Good counselors and educators do things well.

Great counselors teach and inspire others to do things well.

This month I was at the Kentucky School Counselor Conference in Lexington, Kentucky (shout out to all the GREAT counselors that I met there), where I taught a session on understanding personality style and working in your strengths. One of the advantages of training counselors in DISC personality is the enthusiasm that they bring to the session.  DISC training adds an innovative and creative tool to the counselor toolbox.

Not familiar with DISC personality training?  Here are the basics:

The Four Basic Personality Styles

According to the DISC personality program, there are four basic personality styles.  We are all blends of these.  Here are the characteristics of each.:

D:  dominant, determined, decisive

I:  interactive, inspiring, influential

S:  stable, sweet, supportive

C:  competent, cautious, conscientious

Why DISC works

There are several reasons why the DISC is a good fit for anyone working with children.  Here are some of the reasons that as a certified DISC trainer, I love sharing this with counselors, educators and parents.

  • DISC is a great tool because it is easy to understand.  This means that counselors can quickly learn the basic four personality styles and share them with parents, students and educators on their team.  Unlike some personality assessments that take the equivalent of a college degree to understand, DISC can be taught in a quick one time session.
  • DISC is a great tool because it is practical and immediately applicable.  Most participants in my sessions not only quickly understand how it works but they begin sharing insights about themselves and other participants while we are still in the session.  They also gain insight into interactions with coworkers, family members and friends.
  • DISC is a great tool because it transforms relationships.  When you learn the personality styles, you don’t just understand yourself better, you also begin to understand and celebrate all the other personality styles around you.  It helps you encourage leadership traits (which show up differently for the different styles) and you learn how to motivate each different style by working in their unique strengths and interests.

If you aren’t familiar with DISC personality assessment, I hope I’ve piqued your curiosity.  Similar to the growth mindset work that Carol Dweck has done, DISC encourages an openness to learning from failure as well as success.  It celebrates our differences and encourages us to focus on and develop our strengths.

Interested in learning more about your personality style?  You can take an online assessment on this website.  I’ll even do an interpretation for you to help you make sense of the information.  Check out the sidebar on wyatthewonderdog.com for more information.

Want to learn how understanding personality can transform your perspective and relationships?  Check out these additional articles on DISC and children:

Personality Style and Motivation

Celebrate Your Child’s Unique Voice

Parenting and Teaching the High Energy Child

 

Parenting with Heart: Understanding your Child’s Personality Style

Do you sometimes feel that your children are speaking a different language?  Do you wonder how to motivate and inspire them?  In this ebook you will D-I-S-Cover your own personality style and how to speak the language of other personality styles to create a winning  environment in all the seasons of your family’s life. parentingheart Click on the link below to purchase the ebook: Parenting with Heart: Understanding Personality Style

Teaching with Heart:  Understanding Personality Style

Do you sometimes feel that students at your school are speaking a different language?  Do you wonder how to motivate and inspire them?  In this ebook you will D-I-S-Cover your own personality style and learn to work in the strengths of each personality by recognizing the secret fuel and environmental needs for each.  Understanding the personality styles of students can revolutionize how you interact and lead in the classroom! teachingdiscover

 Click on the link below to purchase the ebook:

Teaching with Heart: Understanding Personality Styles

 

Interested in having a DISC training come to your school?  Get more information here:
http://www.dreamachievercoach.com/dream-academy-educator-training/

 

Celebrate Your Child’s Unique Voice

What does it mean to be authentic or real?

Is being authentic something to be achieved or a continual practice?

Can you be who you really are and still show compassion to others who are different?

How do we teach children to recognize and  be their authentic selves?

Teaching children to be authentic ultimately translates into helping each individual recognize that they are enough just as they are.  This doesn’t of course mean that we aren’t all continually striving to learn more and become our best possible selves.  Instead it means that we come equipped with the capacity to to be uniquely and authentically  ourselves; that awesome, fantastic individual that we were born to be.

Understanding Personality Styles Means Accepting Different Personality Styles

One way we are all unique is the personality style that makes up who we are.  A goal of understanding the four basic personality styles is to move from tolerating a personality style  in ourselves or others to accepting and ultimately celebrating that personality style. We are all a unique blend of  strengths and challenges.

In ourselves as well as in our children, we must first come to accept and celebrate those strengths rather than focusing on changing or eliminating those undesirable aspects. No one personality is better than another.  Each one can use it’s strengths to grow and develop.

Four Personalty Styles

There are four basic personality styles and here’s a short description of the characteristics of each one:

D: dominant, determined, doer, demanding

I: inspiring, influencing, interactive

S: stable, supportive, sweet, shy

C: cautious, competent, calculating, concerned

While we are all uniquely wired and more comfortable operating out of our own personality type, it is certainly possible to “visit” some of the other personality traits. In order to do this, we have to recognize the area of need and consciously make a choice to develop those traits.

Steps to Finding and Celebrating Your Child’s Unique Style

What does this mean for you and your child? What is the best way to encourage your child’s strengths while at the same time helping them deal with situations that challenge them?

  1. Recognize your child’s personality style,. Point out to them the strengths and positive attributes that you see every day.
  2. Teach children to recognize situations where they are challenged.  Teach them problem solving strategies so they see themselves as someone who faces obstacles with persistence and thoughtfulness.
  3. Celebrate the unique qualities that make up your child. The differences we all have is what makes our families special and unique.

Want to read more about personality styles and blends?

Parenting with Heart: Understanding your Child’s Personality Style

Do you sometimes feel that your children are speaking a different language?  Do you wonder how to motivate and inspire them?  In this ebook you will D-I-S-Cover your own personality style and how to speak the language of other personality styles to create a winning  environment in all the seasons of your family’s life. parentingheart Click on the link below to purchase the ebook: Parenting with Heart: Understanding Personality Style

Parenting and Teaching the High Energy Child

Is there a student in your class who is the energizer bunny?  Always moving… always talking?

Is your child a bundle of energy and curiosity, moving from one activity to another but never completing anything?

Does your child love interaction and being in the center of attention?

Then you are probably blessed with a child with an I personality style.

The Four Basic Personality Styles

According to the DISC personality program, there are four basic personality styles.  We are all blends of these.  Here are the characteristics of each.:

D:  dominant, determined, decisive

I:  interactive, inspiring, influential

S:  stable, sweet, supportive

C:  competent, cautious, conscientious

Strategies for the High I Child

What can you do to help the high “I” child succeed? Encourage the high ‘I’ child with short term goals and recognition, so they will flourish. At the same time they need to have clear boundaries and be held accountable and responsible. Just as they are great at influencing and encouraging others they can also lean toward manipulating others with their charming personality.  Don’t let them talk their way out of the necessary chores and details of life!

The energizing fuel for this personality is FUN!  You will get better cooperation if you can inject some element of fun into their responsibilities.  Perhaps make tasks into a game or contest. Resist bailing them out if they fail to follow-through though and help them develop the discipline necessary to accomplish their goals.

 Your Parent/Teaching Personality Style Matters

As always, your own personality style can influence how you parent.

  • If you are a high ‘D’ personality style, you will need to remember that the ‘I’ personality is more concerned about relationships and having fun than results.  Your skill in accomplishing the goals is something the ‘I’ personality can benefit from learning.  Help them learn to transform talk into action.
  • If you are also  ‘I’ wired  then you will have a lot in common with your fun-loving and social child.  However, make sure that you help them develop organizational skills and responsibility as well.
  • If you are  ‘S’ wired  keeping up with the pace of this active and outgoing child can be a challenge for you.  You must learn to set firm limits and follow through, since her charming and fast-talking ability can leave you wondering how you got persuaded into something you had no intention of doing.  Hold her accountable and do not overdo for her.
  • If you are “C’ wired, you must first recognize that your personality is exactly opposite of that of your ‘I’ wired child.  You may need to modify your high expectations and look for ways to encourage him in his strengths.  This child hungers for acceptance and recognition, so find ways to encourage them as much as they encourage others.

Finally, no matter what your wired parenting  or teaching style is, find time to enjoy your high ‘I’ child as much as they enjoy life!  They can bring sunshine and smiles into any group they are a part of.

Related Posts

Celebrate Your Child-the Introvert

How to Thrive with a Strong Willed Child

Do your kids push your buttons?

 

To download a Personality Style Information sheet that identifies the four basic personality styles and strategies for working with each one, join the pack on the sidebar!

Wyatt Learns about Being Organized

It’s time to catch the school bus and Wyatt can’t find anything.  Where is his backpack?  his lunch money? Wyatt is about to learn a valuable lesson about the importance of being organized and the benefits of planning ahead.  This adorable story offers simple helpful ideas that kids and parents can use to make life less stressful and more fun.

Wyatt_the_Wonder_Dog_Front_Covr-Organized[1]
Wyatt the Wonder Dog: Learns About Being Organized

Personality Style and Motivation

It’s a new school year and you have spent hours setting up your classroom, attending meetings on the latest and  greatest technology and getting your lesson plans in order. You are ready for the kiddos to arrive with parents in tow so you can orient everyone to your system and dive in to a new and exciting year of learning and teaching.

However, if you’ve been teaching any time at all you know that the best laid plans can go astray, especially if you have “one of those classrooms”.

You know what I mean.

One where you are pulling out your hair and wondering who on earth thought putting this combination of children together in one room was a good idea? Maybe you have children that are exceptionally talkative or headstrong.  Maybe they are needy and lack initiative. In any case, I bet you have at least one child in your classroom that really knows how to push your buttons… and not in a good way.

What if you understood their personality and their motivation so that you could work with them instead of against the resistance? Understanding the four basic personality styles can help.

The Four Basic Personality Styles

Understanding and speaking the same personality language is important. This is especially true if you want to help your students set goals that motivate them and have a successful school year. As a quick reminder, the four main personality types are:

D wired=dominant, decisive, determined, doer

I wired=interactive, inspiring, influential, initiator

S wired=stable, sweet, shy, likes status quo

C wired=conscientious, careful, cautious, careful

Personality Style and Motivation

If you have a D wired child in your classroom, then you will want to help them chose a goal that is very specific and has a deadline. D personalities are highly motivated and competitive, so setting a goal to give their energy some direction will be very successful.

I wired children are great starters but not such great finishers. They also thrive on social interaction and recognition, so setting a goal that involves a social network to support and encourage them to achieve it would be best. Add in an element of fun perhaps by making a lesson or project much like a game and the I wired child will be hooked.

S wired children are great finishers but have difficulty starting tasks. They are very tuned in to the needs of others and will work to accomplish a goal as much to please you as to please themselves. Select a goal that they can commit to with your support or the support of a partner to motivate them to get going.  They are great team players and can be a real asset to group  oriented learning.

Finally, C wired children love to develop and research a goal.They thrive on quality answers and good value.  If they are committed, they will work hard to accomplish the task. Help them see the big picture so that they don’t get lost in the details and you will have a winning combination.

Learning to set and accomplish goals is an important skill to learn and by speaking your student’s  personality language, you can not only insure that they are successful but you will motivate them in a way that is congruent with how they are wired.

Related Posts:

Celebrate your child’s personality style

10 things joyful teachers do differently

Tackling those back to school blues

Wyatt’s latest book!!

Wyatt the Wonder Dog Learns about Cooperation

Wyatt wants to play Frisbee. Max want to build a fort and Callie wants to have tea party. How do the three friends reconcile their differences? Can it be done? When Wyatt doesn’t get his way, Max’s mother suggests he be the Superhero for the day. Join Wyatt as he learns how the magic of cooperation and compromise can bring the five friends closer together.

Wyatt the Wonder Dog -Cooperation Cover
Wyatt the Wonder Dog: Learns About Cooperation (Volume 6)

4 Secrets to a Stress Free Family Vacation

 

Family Fun or Family Frustration?

(This is a re-post from March 2015)

Anticipating your family vacation?

Looking forward to unplugging and enjoying some time off?

Keeping your fingers crossed that everyone will getting along?

Worried that it will be exhausting instead of relaxing?

Vacation Reality

Family vacations aren’t always the stress-free family bonding time that you envision. Maybe the last time you took off on a get-away as a family, you returned more exhausted and on edge than ever.

I’ve been there:  left the daily routine eager for a fun filled but relaxing time away and found myself  frustrated and aggravated beyond belief as we drove aimlessly around a strange city arguing about where to eat dinner. There was one memorable trip to California  where we strolled through the spectacular awe-inspiring redwood forest of Muir Woods, while my young children whined and continuously asked, “When do we get to go to the gift shop?”

Is there a way to create a stress free family vacation where you leave behind the baggage of aggravation and worry?  Follow these tips, and you’ll be on the road to a family vacation that’s smoother than those bumpy rides of past trips.

Set a budget

Before you make any decisions about your family get-away, determine your travel budget for the trip. Nothing kills the fun of a trip than arguing about the cost or even worse putting it all on a credit card that you dread opening when you return. Plan the larger costs first such as the flight, the hotel and car rental.  Then set a daily budget for meals and entertainment.

Be sure to check out the costs for the local restaurants and other activities you know will be on your agenda as you determine a reasonable daily budget.  Don’t forget to include an extra emergency fund for unexpected expenses.

Plan together

Our best trips involved the whole family in planning.  While polling for ideas and activities doesn’t mean a trip that meanders from gift shop to gift shop per my daughter’s request, it does mean that you can include activities that appeal to everyone. It also means that you will plan a vacation that is more age appropriate and avoid unrealistic expectations for behavior and interest levels.

Moms and dads are still in charge of the final decisions and it is a lost cause to try to please everyone at all times. You might find though that your kids are more interested in a lower cost, easy to plan trip like exploring a nearby state park than they are a trip across country. Take into consideration your child’s personality style, interests and energy level as you plan.

Continue a routine

I know that vacation typically means late nights and sleeping in.  However, especially with young children, consider keeping a similar schedule and routine to what you have at home.  Children thrive on predictable routines so be spontaneous with activities but keep a consistent bedtime, meal time and mid-day rest to prevent meltdowns due to exhausted kids and parents alike.

Resist the urge to do everything possible in a few short days and instead schedule some down time just to relax and play.  Plan to arrive back at home a day early so that you can get back into the regular schedule before returning to work and school.

Identify behavior expectations

Be clear about positive behavioral expectations and share them just as you share your trip itinerary with your children.  Plan ahead and set boundaries for what children will be allowed to do and not to do.  This way you aren’t constantly saying no throughout the trip and having to make snap decisions on what is possible.  Planning ahead for behavior is just as necessary as planning ahead for the trip details.   

Most important of all, enjoy the time together, be present in the moment and don’t sweat the small stuff. Rather, have fun and play with your crew as you create new memories together!

Related Posts:

3 Ways to Make the Most of Your Summer

5 Ways to Create a Summer of Renewal

Create Summertime Memories Through Writing

parentingheart

Want to know how to communicate best with your child’s unique personality style?  Check out the Parenting with Heart ebook available in the Wyatt store!

Grab a copy of Wyatt’s latest adventure here!

Wyatt the Wonder Dog -Cooperation Cover

Wyatt wants to play Frisbee. Max wants to build a fort and Callie wants to have a tea party. How do the three friends reconcile their differences? Can it be done?  When Wyatt doesn’t get his way, Max’s mother suggests he be the Superhero for the day. Join Wyatt as he learns how the magic of cooperation and compromise can bring the five friends closer together.